Saturday

My Story!!!!

Hi! Here is my story! But please don't anyone steal it, I worked extremely hard on it. And please don't criticize it, I know a lot of punctuation and stuff is wrong but I wrote this a while ago. Oh, and if you don't understand something, feel free to comment and ask me!

Meet Denise!
Chapter One

“Bye Amy!” Denise Teller shouted as the bus rolled away from the school. “Bye Denise!” Amy Frad shouted back “See you tomorrow!” Denise slouched in the hard bus-seat “I wish I had a real friend.” She thought “Not just a school friend, a real friend who lives in my neighborhood and comes over almost every day! We would go to the same school, come home together, and have sleepovers.” She sighed; there were no kids in Denise’s neighborhood or even close. She was tired of being an only child. “I’m home!” Denise yelled as she walked into her house. “Go to your room dear, their’s something waiting.” Her mother called. She walked down the hall and went in to her room; there were two girls in her bedroom!
The older girl was trying to wrestle one of Denise’s Happi-Time dolls out of the younger girl’s fists. “I want it!!!” The little girl screamed, “Um, hi” the older girl said looking up. “I’m Amanda Knew and this is my sister Debbie.” she continued. “Uh, hi” Denise said, “I’m Denise Teller.” “I know, your mom told me, I’m sorry Debbie is trying to chew your dolls,” Amanda continued “She hasn’t managed to hurt any yet. Oh, I hope you don’t mind, I was reading your book.” she said blushing and pointing to the bed. Denise looked. On the bed was her copy of Nancy Drew Secret of the Old Clock. “Do you like it?” she asked “Yes I do! By the way, I’m nine how old are you?” Amanda asked. “I’m nine too.” Denise responded. “Well, you girls seem to be getting along!” Denise’s mother said from the doorway. “Yes, they have,” said a women who Denise guessed was Amanda’s mother “But my angels, we need to get going.” She announced “Aw, mom!” Amanda cried “You will see Denise tomorrow, now come along! Thank you for having us Rosemary.” She said “Your very welcome, see you tomorrow.” Denise’s mother said as she closed the door.

Chapter Two

“Mother, what did you mean by see you tomorrow?” Denise asked the minute they were gone. “You are going over to spend the day with Amanda while Elaine and I are at the Ladies Bazaar meeting.” Her mother said in a matter of fact way. “I am?” Denise said in surprise “Yes darling, but you liked Amanda didn’t you?” Denise thought about the way Amanda had been trying to protect her stuff from her little sister, she thought about the way Amanda had started Nancy Drew. “Yes I do like her.” She declared “I can’t wait for tomorrow!”
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Denise’s mother pulled up in front of a large gray house. “Here we are honey,” her mother said. Denise opened the door and got out, she and her mother walked up the gravel drive, they rang the doorbell and almost immediately the door was flung open by Amanda, “Come on in,” she said. They walked into the pretty and elegantly furnished house, “What a pretty house,” Denise’s mother remarked, “Thank you,” Amanda said stiffly “But I will be glad to move out,” Denise opened her mouth in surprise but at that moment Amanda’s mother rushed down the stairs. “Hello Rosemary! And hello Denise.” “Hello,” Denise replied, “Well, we will be going now,” Denise’s mother said, “Yes goodbye Amanda! And goodbye Denise!” Amanda’s mother said as she closed the door. “Well,” Denise said “Now they’re gone.” “Yes!” Amanda said with a sudden smile, “They’re gone,” and at that she grabbed Denise’s arm and started pulling her towards the stairs. “I hate this house,” Amanda said suddenly “It’s too fancy and big and strange,” “How long have you lived here?” Denise asked, “Three years,” Amanda said with a scowl, “Three horrible years. It’s always felt like prison in this house.” Then suddenly Amanda cheered up, “Mama said I could tell you today the surprise.” “Surprise?” Denise asked, “Yes!” said Amanda, who was beaming. “The surprise is… I’m moving three doors down from you!” Denise stood still in shock, but then she too started beaming, “You are?!” “Yup!” Amanda said “Into that beautiful little yellow house three doors down from you!” “Really?”
Denise exclaimed “That’s wonderful!” “I know,” Amanda said with a huge smile on her face “That’s why we were at your house,” Amanda explained, “Because we looked at the house, we all liked it, and we dropped in to tell your mother the good news!” she said with a little twirl of excitement “I can’t believe it!” Denise said as she gave a little twirl too, “Only the other day I was wishing for a real friend in my neighborhood!” The girls giggled and twirled until they were dizzy.

Chapter Three

“Well,” Amanda’s mother said as they walked into the house, “You two seem to be having a good time.” The two girls giggled as they looked up from their game of pick up sticks. “Well honey I’m sorry but we need to get going.” Denise’s mother said, “Aw,” Denise said unhappily “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow Denise!” Amanda said with a happy smile. “Tomorrow?” Denise said in surprise, “What’s tomorrow?” “I’m moving in tomorrow!” Amanda said with a big grin, “Really?” Denise said happily “That’s great!” “I know!” Amanda said with a huge smile.

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“Amanda!” Denise shrieked as she spotted her friend. “Denise!” Amanda shrieked back. Denise hopped on her bike and pedaled down to the pretty yellow house that Amanda was standing next to, “I can’t believe its happening!” Amanda said the second Denise got there.  “Why, hello Denise,” Amanda’s mother said, then Denise spotted a pretty blue bike being unloaded from the moving truck. “You ride a bike?” she asked Amanda, “Yes!” Amanda replied, “Mother, could Denise and I go for a ride?” “Alright,” her mother agreed, “As long as you’re careful.” In a matter of seconds Denise was flying down the sidewalk with Amanda at her side. “What school do you go to?” Amanda asked suddenly, “Evergreen Academy.” Denise replied, Amanda gasped and Denise looked at her in surprise. “That’s where I’m going to go next week!” Amanda said with a huge smile, “Really?” Denise said happily, “That’s wonderful!” “Yes,” Amanda agreed, “Then we can be school friends as well as best friends!” Denise just stood there in shock, “How wonderful,” Denise thought, “To have a friend whose my school friend as well as my best friend!” “Well,” Amanda’s voice brought her down to earth, “We should be starting back, my mother must be getting worried.” “Ok,” Denise said, still in her happy daze, “I’m just so happy to have you as my best friend.”


16 comments:

  1. I love it! Great job! P.S. Dollygirl on AmericanGirlFan.com for shout out your doll sites I entered yours! :)

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    1. Thank you! Oh my gosh thanks soooo much!!!!!!!!!!!

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    2. Your welcome! xD No problem at all!!!!

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  2. I love it! You're a great writer!

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  3. Wow! That is truly a good story. Short and sweet. Beautiful. I really like it! Gr8 job!!!!
    -Autumn

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  4. I love your new design!

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    1. Thanks! There'll be a post about it up soon!

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  5. Any new posts Dollygirl?
    ~Mialover~

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    1. Hmmm...I'm working on a WITO on Josefina, and there will be a new post about the design up soon, what would you like to see?

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    2. I love all your posts! I was just curious when another wonderful post will be up!
      ~Mialover~

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Hi! Thanks for commenting, always remember to be polite to others, never swear, please don't talk too much about religion, don't make fun of people, don't give out any personal information, please don't talk in caps, think before you speak, and HAVE FUN!!!!!! Also please keep the conversation turned to whats in my posts unless you have a question. And what I mean is don't have a personal conversation with someone else, any bad or mean comments will be immediantly deleted,. Thank you and have a great day!!!